I'm linking to this short (17 minutes) New Yorker documentary titled "The Pause: A Brief Contemplation of Scott's Infertility."
It follows a couple over the course of a year after they find out that the husband, Scott, is infertile. He grapples with his grief and his questions. What makes a family? What happens when your family doesn't look like the way you dreamed it would? How do you navigate this as a couple?
This is a very candid and raw book about going through and surviving a miscarriage. While weaving her own story throughout, Dr. Sunita Osborn covers the physical, emotional, and relational experiences of a miscarriage and the aftermath. At the end of each chapter, she suggests an exercise related to the topic covered in the chapter.
I'm thinking that Dr. Osborn wrote this shortly following her two miscarriages which is why her observations are spot-on and real. That said, there is an undertone of bitterness and anger, and that is completely understandable. If you're looking for a book with a happy ending and tidy end, this is not that book.
This is my go-to book whenever I'm asked for a book recommendation about miscarriage. Recommended if you or your spouse has experienced (or is experiencing) a miscarriage. Also recommended to any friend or family member who wants to know how to best support someone who is grieving.
The Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology (SART) has introduced a new podcast called SART Fertility Experts. Check out their first episode: What is IVF?
Last week, I virtually attended the Jefferson Infertility Counseling Conference. It's usually held in Philadelphia, but this year it was held online because of the pandemic. I was delighted to attend and hear excellent lectures from experts in the field on a variety of topics including legal updates in Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART), medical developments in ART, and possible causes of recurrent pregnancy loss.
Today marks the start of National Infertility Awareness Week. One in eight couples face infertility, and yet it's not really talked that much about. During this pandemic, it's an especially difficult time to be going through infertility as most fertility interventions have been put on hold indefinitely.
What is your story?
Has infertility intersected with your life? Or the lives of people you know?
How can you take good care of yourself this week?
As if there wasn't already enough waiting while going through infertility, now there's even more waiting to see when fertility treatments can be resumed.
Here is a New York Times article on how this pandemic has affected fertility treatments.
Maybe you’ve seen this scene from the show “Friends” in which Ross and friends try to move a sofa. It’s not working very well, and Ross recognizes the need to “Pivot!” or, in other words, to do something different from what they’ve been doing.
We all come to crossroads in life in which we need to pivot and change what we’re doing. What we’ve been doing isn’t working anymore, or maybe it’s not the direction we want to be headed in right now. It might have been right at one point, but now, it’s not.
I’ve come to a point in my practice in which I’m going to pivot.
I’m going to keep working with clients on relationships – I enjoy helping clients understand how their early relational history may be shaping their relational patterns today, and figuring out what is still helpful and what is not.
However, I’m also going to add another focus to my practice: working with clients going through infertility. This comes about from my own experience in expanding my family, and experiencing firsthand the social, emotional, relational, and physical impact of infertility.
To that end, I’ve completed the American Society of Reproductive Medicine’s Certificate Program for Mental Health Professionals. This includes courses covering Basic Infertility, Treatment Interventions, and Third Party Reproduction.
Moving forward, I’ll still post general book and podcast recommendations on this blog, and I’ll also post recommendations that speak specifically to the experience of infertility and its impact on mental health.
I’m looking forward to this pivot in my practice, continuing to work with current clients on improving their relationships, and also welcoming and supporting new clients in sorting out their experience of infertility.
It's not talked about much, and is actually more common than you might think.
Take a listen as the two OB/GYNs from The V Word podcast discuss miscarriage: https://vwordpod.com/episode/miscarriage/
I’m Elaine Gee-Wong and I'm a therapist with a private practice in Santa Clara, CA.
Any information or advice on this website is for informational purposes only, and should not take the place of information or care provided to you by your physicians, medical, or mental health care professionals.