It's not talked about much, and is actually more common than you might think.
Take a listen as the two OB/GYNs from The V Word podcast discuss miscarriage: https://vwordpod.com/episode/miscarriage/
This is a graphic novel that follows the author while she tries to conceive. She does (warning: pregnancy losses), and she also chronicles her pregnancy.
This book includes sections on women's reproductive health and history and myths around miscarriage. Lucy Knisley's drawings and writing very effectively normalize the common feelings experienced while trying to conceive and feelings around pregnancy loss.
This is one of the best blog posts I've read on how to support a friend going through infertility.
How to Help a Friend Facing Infertility. "Let your friend know you are there, and open the door for discussion without pressure or pity."
This is a collection of essays written by women and one man about their personal stories of infertility and pregnancy loss. Some of the stories end with a baby, and others do not. These stories may help the reader feel less alone.
Finding support online when you're facing fertility treatments can be helpful...or not. Here's an article about the benefits of these forums and what to look out for.
The pros and cons of online fertility forums. "While most users of an online fertility forum are genuine, and the experiences are positive and supportive, it makes sense to be careful, says Ms Bold at the University of Worcester."
Men are affected by infertility as well. It's not talked about very much, but here's one man's story:
The Silent Shame of Male Infertility. "Men are largely absent from public conversation around infertility, and even those who have looked for support hesitate to identify as someone struggling with male infertility."
IVFML is a podcast following Anna Almendrala and Simon Ganz as they try to have a baby. They are frank and honest, letting the listener eavesdrop on their voice memos even in the darkest of moments throughout their infertility journey.
Episode 3: Cash Money focuses specifically on the finances involved in using assisted reproductive technologies.
Recommended Reading- Navigating the Land of IF: Understanding Infertility and Exploring Your Options by Melissa Ford
This book is written as a guidebook through the land of infertility. Ford spells out what you need to know, including descriptions of common fertility tests, procedures, and medications. She also discusses ways for you (and your partner) to talk about what your priorities and values are in this process. Later chapters touch on adoption, the decision to live child-free, and parenting after infertility.
This memoir is a very intimate look at Scully’s experience with infertility. She writes honestly about her jealousy, disappointment, and anger throughout the process. She also writes about how the process of trying to conceive affected her relationship with her husband. Scully includes things that helped along the way, like adopting a dog and working with a mental health professional in order to sort out her feelings.
Just a heads up: this memoir does not have a happy ending. Scully and her husband go through two rounds of IVF with no success. (Trigger warning: early pregnancy loss.)
This book provides normalization of the infertility journey, and the mental and physical toll that it can take on both partners. This book is very short and concise, and I would recommend it for friends and family of folks going through infertility treatments so that they can understand the struggle and know how they might offer appropriate support and care.
I’m Elaine Gee-Wong and I'm a therapist with a private practice in Santa Clara, CA.
Any information or advice on this website is for informational purposes only, and should not take the place of information or care provided to you by your physicians, medical, or mental health care professionals.