Recommended Reading- Navigating the Land of IF: Understanding Infertility and Exploring Your Options by Melissa Ford
This book is written as a guidebook through the land of infertility. Ford spells out what you need to know, including descriptions of common fertility tests, procedures, and medications. She also discusses ways for you (and your partner) to talk about what your priorities and values are in this process. Later chapters touch on adoption, the decision to live child-free, and parenting after infertility.
This memoir is a very intimate look at Scully’s experience with infertility. She writes honestly about her jealousy, disappointment, and anger throughout the process. She also writes about how the process of trying to conceive affected her relationship with her husband. Scully includes things that helped along the way, like adopting a dog and working with a mental health professional in order to sort out her feelings.
Just a heads up: this memoir does not have a happy ending. Scully and her husband go through two rounds of IVF with no success. (Trigger warning: early pregnancy loss.)
This book provides normalization of the infertility journey, and the mental and physical toll that it can take on both partners. This book is very short and concise, and I would recommend it for friends and family of folks going through infertility treatments so that they can understand the struggle and know how they might offer appropriate support and care.
Linking to Episode #2 of Laura Tremaine’s 10 Things To Tell You podcast titled: Are You Lonely?
Are you lonely? What a great question to ask yourself, your partner, or your friends.
Admitting and identifying a problem is a first step to finding a solution. Being honest about if you’re feeling lonely and disconnected from others may be the beginning of finding new or deeper connections.
Is there someone that you can ask, “Are you lonely?”
If someone asked you, “Are you lonely?” how would you respond?
Hi there, how's it going? It's the last Monthly Round-Up of 2018, and possibly my last Monthly Round-Up for awhile. This year, it's been fun to share articles and podcasts that have caught my eye/ear, but I'm thinking of changing things up in 2019 in a still-to-be-determined way. We are all changing, and what works for us in one season of life doesn't always work in the next. So stay tuned, and we'll see how this blog develops during 2019!
Today I'm sharing:
Article: What's All This About Journaling?
"Journaling may sound hokey to some. But it can be one of the most useful and cost-effective tools we have to forge a better, more emotionally and mentally healthy life."
Podcast: Online Dating: Can Science Find You Love?
"Paul's work has found that there's something about falling in love that the science just hasn’t been able to capture. For now, he says relationships are more like earthquakes than the weather, and that means we can’t really predict when they’re going to happen."
Article: What I Learned About Life At My 30th College Reunion
"Nearly all the alumni said they were embarrassed by their younger selves, particularly by how judgmental they used to be."
This holiday season can be a blur of activities and busyness with not so much time for reflection (unless we intentionally make room for some). And then the New Year is suddenly upon us.
To help you add a bit of reflection to this season, I've created a worksheet to help you slow down and take inventory of what happened this last year. I've also included some questions to help you get in touch with what you're wanting/hoping/dreaming about for 2019. I invite you to print it out and set aside some time to walk through it.
You can click here to download the worksheet.
November brings on a season of being social (Thanksgiving, Friendsgiving, office holiday parties, family gatherings, New Year's). Are you ready? Or maybe not?...
I'm posting this a little early in case it might help you out with all of the conversations you'll be having soon.
Article: 3 Tips To Have Better Conversations
"Be genuine. Be interested. And stop hogging the conversation."
Article: Just Check In
"It’s amazing what a few well-timed words delivered via text message can do to make you feel loved and supported."
Article: 13 'Rules' For Being Friends With An Introvert
"If you have to invite other people, at least give us a heads up. There’s hardly anything worse for introverts than being ambushed by a raucous crowd when they were expecting a quietly intimate chat."
Taking a look at this infographic can help us assess how we're doing in terms of caring for our mental health. Which of these are you doing well with? Which ones could use some more attention?
It's mid-autumn, but it's hard to tell that weather-wise here in California. Here are a few items that have caught my eye while I've been waiting for some chilly weather and rainy days to move in.
I Don't Feel Middle Age, Until I Do
"I’m not complaining. Really I’m not. I feel fortunate that I get to grow older, and I have to laugh as I watch myself and my peers morphing into our parents."
A Little Happier: A Lesson From Harry Potter About Knowing Who You Are
"It’s when Harry Potter accepts his own nature, and his own strengths, and works within them to meet his dragon."
Every Adult Should Have a Bedtime
"Not only is a regular bedtime just about the most enjoyable habit available to us living things, but it is extremely good for us."
The Dead Moms Club: A Memoir About Death, Grief, & Surviving the Mother of All Losses by Kate Spencer
Kate Spencer was 27 years old when her mother died from cancer. Spencer writes about her grief in a straight-forward and candid way. She doesn't try to sugar coat any of her experiences.
Her engaging and chatty style of writing makes her seem like a good friend who is really telling you the truth so you don't feel so alone in your sadness, despair, and anger.
How was August for you? Are you ready to head into the fall?
I've read some great articles this month. Here they are:
This Woman Quit Dating Apps and Decided to Meet Men IRL, and It Changed Everything
"The more comfortable I became talking to everyone, the more confidence I gained talking to men. I began living openly, boldly, and unapologetically."
How To Make Friends, According to Science
"A recent study out of the University of Kansas found that it takes about 50 hours of socializing to go from acquaintance to casual friend, an additional 40 hours to become a “real” friend, and a total of 200 hours to become a close friend."
The New, Supremely Satisfying Way I End My Day.
"What helps me to keep on keepin' on is to truly give myself credit for the things I get done each day—both personally and professionally. And to that end, I've developed an auspicious habit: I write a to-do list in reverse at the end of the day."
I’m Elaine Gee-Wong and I'm a therapist with a private practice in Santa Clara, CA.
Any information or advice on this website is for informational purposes only, and should not take the place of information or care provided to you by your physicians, medical, or mental health care professionals.